Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
