So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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