My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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