Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
