I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
try to milk me bitch
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