It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
