the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
