Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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