The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
