Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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