dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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