He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
