This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
