I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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