You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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