I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
