I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
