our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
