getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Congratulations! We have a period
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