Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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