Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
