Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
