i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't think brook has ever known best
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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