It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
