people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
