I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
