areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
