I could have mohawked her pubes.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
