he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
