I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just found puke in my bra..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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