I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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