just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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