Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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