Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
