How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize