Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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