Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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