just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
