i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
