this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
