There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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