woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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