She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
