I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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