So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
