im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
