If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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