this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
