I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
