Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love you. Go after that dick
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
