I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
